Day 6: Have a Phone-Free Meal
Mental Health Pillar: Meaningful Connection
by Kacee Must, Citizen Yoga Founder + Owner
As a working mother, I really understand the convenience and complete inconvenience of the phone. Having access to emails, texts, social media and more allows for us to work from anywhere, and that is just the problem. It makes us half-baked in our presence with ourselves, friends, family, our children, and everyone else in the world. If you look around in every single public space the majority of people are looking down, distracted and uncomfortable. If you take a look at Jonathan Haidt’s book, Anxious Generation, there is so much research backing how excessive phone usage leads to feelings of isolation and anxiety in children. But we know it is happening inside of adults too.
I cannot tell you how to manage technology in your life, but I can offer some examples of how boundaries with phones and screens have helped me keep home life a little quieter, more sacred, and expansive.
We never eat with phones at the table at any meal. They are always put away. It took me a long time to become fully aware of how often I would unconsciously take out my phone because there was something “I had to look up.” No matter what, we no longer have phones near the dinner table, and at a restaurant, we always keep them in our pockets or purse.
I purchased a watch that I love that was not an Apple Watch. I realized that more often than not, I was carrying my phone as a clock. So even though the intention was not to be on the phone, my daughter, husband or friends were seeing me pick it up all the time to look at it. Every afternoon, I spend 3p-4p with my daughter. We usually sit on our porch and eat a snack or play outside. At the same time, I would be prepping something for dinner in the oven. I would have to take my phone with me to keep time on what was cooking. So even though the entire point of the 1 hour was dedicated presence with my daughter, I always had a little distraction due to the presence of the phone. A regular watch has made such a difference.
No phone in the bedroom. (Unless you have a baby monitor attached to your phone, which we currently do.) This was my husband’s number one rule and one of three tips for guaranteeing better sleep. I currently have the baby monitor on my phone, but the phone is set to sleep starting at 8:30p. I still use it too much close to bedtime, but it is our intention to get new technology so that the phone leaves the bedroom sooner than later.
Lastly, we are all human. We all have to manage technology. I am not perfect at it, but I value this life and my time immensely. Because of that, I try to be very aware of when I am reaching for my phone at the playground, on a walk, etc. so that if I am making the choice to use it, I am doing it consciously and with intention.
Today, try a phone free meal. For the time that you are eating, whether alone or with others, put your screens away and see how you might experience greater presence and mindfulness in the moment.
