How to Ask for Help

by Shannon Murphy, Studio Manager

At Citizen, we often teach that yoga is a practice of connection—connection to your breath, body, awareness, and to each other. And yet, one of the most vulnerable and courageous ways to connect can feel the hardest: asking for help.

For many of us, it’s easier to hold space for others than to take up space ourselves. Maybe we worry about being a burden. Maybe we’re used to being the “strong one”  or maybe we just don’t know what to say. The truth is—asking for help is not a weakness; it’s an act of trust, self-awareness, and deep strength.

As someone who has struggled with asking for help in the past, here are a few tips I have personally found helpful as I navigate asking for support:

Build a Network of Support

Who do you trust to check in with? It’s easier to reach out when you’ve already named your people. Try making a short list (friends, family, colleagues, professionals, etc.) so you know where to turn when you need it.

When you build genuine relationships with others, they will often notice when you need support before you even ask.

Also, don’t shy away from making new connections! You never know who will end up in your corner. Trust that those who care about you want to be there—even if they don’t know exactly how at first.

Practice how to ask.

Write out what you want to say in a journal or your notes app. Having a guide takes the pressure off of you in the moment to “say the right thing” or properly articulate how you feel and what you need, when you may already be nervous to ask for it.

Start small.

Something I learned the hard way is you don’t need to be in crisis to deserve care! Asking for help with little things can open the door. Care doesn’t only happen when we hit a wall. You deserve support not just when you're struggling, but always. Just because you can do something on your own, doesn’t mean you have to.

Be honest with yourself and others.

When your network of support asks how you are doing, don’t lie or reply with a general platitude. This does not help you or them and you are not a burden! Saying, “I’m not doing great lately” or “I could use some support” is ok! People in our network of support are asking because they genuinely want to know.

Receive

As a caregiver it can feel uncomfortable, but receiving is part of the practice. Let help in! Let the kindness land. Let others love you in the way you often love them. You deserve support and it’s ok to remind yourself of that.

You don’t owe anyone perfection. You are already enough!